On the way to Jaipur I decided I wont spend time with her this time......Two days passed I didn't saw her.While I was about to catch the bus to delhi I saw her again.There she was but I thought no mutreja no , control......I plugged headphones into the ear to divert mind and this is what I hear......
Lagi tumse man ki lagan lagan lagi tumse man ki lagan
dil tujhe doodndhe ,ghadi ghadi doodndhe
tere bin terse nayan........
ahhh.......now I cannot control I went closer and said bhai sahab "ek classic regular dena" and there she was in my hands.....what a relief............
On the way I thought may be I should write somethings about cigarettes bcos it is the thing which gives a smoker the best few moments of his day.So here I go with a few lines dedicated to ciggy............
My dear cigarette
I like u ,infact I think u r like a girlfriend to me.
Whatever u wear the red and white(Marlboro ) or the golden dress(classic) doesn't matter to me
You give me instant relief from stress although you are painful to me in the long run
The moment I think of you I feel like holding you in my hands
With you I always get your lovely friends as bonus(chloromint,happydent)
When I feel depressed I need u and whenever I feel happy I need u
Everybody says I should be away from you,you are not good for me but I like u
But without you everything looks boring in life
however there is one thing which is not common b/w u and a girlfriend
its that I would not like to share g/f with friends :)
Saying all that dear , I think its time we should stop seeing each other.
I know its hard for me while seeing u in the hands of my friends but this time I am serious .
There are millions of lovers dieing for u and most of them wud die because of u.
But Seriously once again from the bottom of my lungs I wud say I liked u................
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Live life like what it is meant to be............
I donno wat to write but I want to write something so here I go............
So I wud start with few incidents which I think I have impacted my personality in a very bad way
1.First one was when I went to Kota for IIT-JEE prep and I could not handle things there and I came back just after a week. It was my decision to go and then come back. From that day I have always doubted my decisions whether small or big that it may be a disaster like Kota.
2.Second one was when I my AIEEE form wrongly and inspite of getting a good rank I was in a state where I had sleepless night thinking what wud happen, everyday calling, mailing chairman of AIEEE with no response,thankfully DCE saved me.From that incident I became a too much over cautious person , I get restless as of something should not go wrong until I get the confirmation.I check everything twice thrice even when I lock the door.
3.When I went for My C paper in second Sem totally casually.It was first time in my life when I was sitting in a paper blank after 10 mins I did n't know anything as things i left to study were the only contents in the exam.I could see a supplie(supplementary) in that paper.Meri itni buri kabhi nahi phati thi aaj tak.Luckily I passed the exam, but from that I think 1000 times even taking tiny risks.
So while on my usual chai sutta session today I was thinking why my life has become so dull. And I realised that these things like taking risks,doing things carelessly sometimes , taking some sudden decisions are things which actually make ur life a real life. Ok what if I wud flunk some exam,what If I do some terrible mistake,what if I take a wrong decision. Things may go bad or things may go good too but overall that is the way life is meant to be not the way I do.So, may be tomorrow onwards I wud try to eliminate these things slowly one by one .......
So I wud start with few incidents which I think I have impacted my personality in a very bad way
1.First one was when I went to Kota for IIT-JEE prep and I could not handle things there and I came back just after a week. It was my decision to go and then come back. From that day I have always doubted my decisions whether small or big that it may be a disaster like Kota.
2.Second one was when I my AIEEE form wrongly and inspite of getting a good rank I was in a state where I had sleepless night thinking what wud happen, everyday calling, mailing chairman of AIEEE with no response,thankfully DCE saved me.From that incident I became a too much over cautious person , I get restless as of something should not go wrong until I get the confirmation.I check everything twice thrice even when I lock the door.
3.When I went for My C paper in second Sem totally casually.It was first time in my life when I was sitting in a paper blank after 10 mins I did n't know anything as things i left to study were the only contents in the exam.I could see a supplie(supplementary) in that paper.Meri itni buri kabhi nahi phati thi aaj tak.Luckily I passed the exam, but from that I think 1000 times even taking tiny risks.
So while on my usual chai sutta session today I was thinking why my life has become so dull. And I realised that these things like taking risks,doing things carelessly sometimes , taking some sudden decisions are things which actually make ur life a real life. Ok what if I wud flunk some exam,what If I do some terrible mistake,what if I take a wrong decision. Things may go bad or things may go good too but overall that is the way life is meant to be not the way I do.So, may be tomorrow onwards I wud try to eliminate these things slowly one by one .......
Friday, May 29, 2009
Into the wild turned into the smoke......
Last week I went to Rishikesh-Musoorie for 2-3 days.The agenda for the trip was I wanted to find the peace of mind and I wanted to explore the nature(as a impact of watching the movie "into the wild" for consecutive 2-3 days).
The outcomes of the trip were:
1.I realized you should never go to a wild life sanctuary back to back for two months.It looks good in movies the jungles but in real life sometimes they look endless.
2.The cottage which we were provided was somewhat isolated as it was forest guest house of govt of india.It was surrounded by trees, complete dark at night,pin drop silence. And that was the peace of mind which I was looking for.But within an hour I realised that its all in your head.Even in chaos you can be at peace.
3.Rafting is not that much thrilling as it is being generally discussed and I think it's being over hyped with adjectives like fundoo,faadu,khatarnaak.It's good,nice but I didn't feel any major thrill.May be my bars are too much high or may be as I was escorted by ITBP guys I didn't feel the terror .
4.I found out there is an awsome Indian band of boys(not "meri neend ud gayi" wala ,ewww).
"Swarthma" awsome songs.Listen to it on http://www.swarathma.com/ganas.html
5.Musoorie is a nice place for honeymoon.It's not that much area wise but you can spend a day or two on the roads with your spouse (obviously day time).
6.If you have not seen hell on earth on place I will tell you the address.It's at dehradun public toilet.Me and my friend had to see that place due to unavoidable nature calls and believe me behind all those five doors it was hell.Infact during the whole time while I was there I was actually thinking , hell must be better than this.
When I started for in the morning I decided that it's gonna be smoke free.I will enjoy the fresh air near river Ganga and there I was sitting on the darkest and lonliest spot on the banks of Ganga at night with a pack of Marlboro Regular turning my Trip which was intended to go into the wild turning slowly into the smoke...................................
The outcomes of the trip were:
1.I realized you should never go to a wild life sanctuary back to back for two months.It looks good in movies the jungles but in real life sometimes they look endless.
2.The cottage which we were provided was somewhat isolated as it was forest guest house of govt of india.It was surrounded by trees, complete dark at night,pin drop silence. And that was the peace of mind which I was looking for.But within an hour I realised that its all in your head.Even in chaos you can be at peace.
3.Rafting is not that much thrilling as it is being generally discussed and I think it's being over hyped with adjectives like fundoo,faadu,khatarnaak.It's good,nice but I didn't feel any major thrill.May be my bars are too much high or may be as I was escorted by ITBP guys I didn't feel the terror .
4.I found out there is an awsome Indian band of boys(not "meri neend ud gayi" wala ,ewww).
"Swarthma" awsome songs.Listen to it on http://www.swarathma.com/ganas.html
5.Musoorie is a nice place for honeymoon.It's not that much area wise but you can spend a day or two on the roads with your spouse (obviously day time).
6.If you have not seen hell on earth on place I will tell you the address.It's at dehradun public toilet.Me and my friend had to see that place due to unavoidable nature calls and believe me behind all those five doors it was hell.Infact during the whole time while I was there I was actually thinking , hell must be better than this.
When I started for in the morning I decided that it's gonna be smoke free.I will enjoy the fresh air near river Ganga and there I was sitting on the darkest and lonliest spot on the banks of Ganga at night with a pack of Marlboro Regular turning my Trip which was intended to go into the wild turning slowly into the smoke...................................
Friday, May 1, 2009
kisi ne kahan hai jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai....let's see....
The day has come which was haunting me for the last 15-20 days.Sitting right in between the piles of clothes(gathris in hindi) I am finally ready to shift to new flat tomorrow morning.So finally I am alone in Noida with all of my friend Rewa,Gupta,Ani and me getting apart after 6 years.I never thought I would feel the way I am feeling right now.To be accurate I would say I feel the same way I felt when I left home for the engg.But life is life you cannot control your own then how can u control other's life.So now let's discuss the past one month chutiyaaps(sorry gals (although very few) for offensive language ) which I have doing as I want to leave on a happy note.
Infact I am wondering whether to mention this thing or not but since this blog is actually me so I won't discuss only those things which project me in a good way so I would discuss this thing.Actually when I was at home last month and watching roadies , I saw a girl natasha and the moment I saw her I felt what you would say "infatuation".Previous to that day I received a test from a company which was to be submitted ASAP within 2-3 hours.i solved it but didn't post it as I didn't have the net connectivity.Now after the roadies I got restless and within 10 minutes and in scorching heat of rajasthan I was in a cyber cafe searching info about her , where she is from , her background.Although I did not find much but I was feeling quite ashamed inside me that how can i be so idiot as what I was doing.but it did end there i came back to noida did searching again and after taht I posted the solutions .Till now I have seen hundreds of fake orkut accounts ,facebook accounts not only of her infact of other roadies as well in order to get a clue of her real account.I know it sounds sheer madness,but kya kare!So , while I was doing this stuff Rewa came and asked "kya kar raha hai raat ke teen baje and I said yaar dimaag kahrab ho gaya hai mera ".He listened and laughed and said "saale itna enthu kahin aur dikha to kahan se kahan pahuch jaega",I think he was right.And meanwhile Mr.rewa gave me a lesson which i wont forgot , he said "mutreja tere tu chutiya hai,tere pass itne chances hote hain tu fir bhi koi ladki nahi patata,i said kaun se chances , he said tere roll no ke pass "g" letter se kitni ladkiyan hoti hai garima,geetika etc etc......aur mere "h" ke aage peeche ladke hi hote hain ".Ans seriosuly there were very few girls staring wid H.So we decided we would name our sons from S so he wud have bright chances,and we came to conclusion "shashank" so he wud be sitting in between, shruti, sheta,shilpi,shipla and lots of those.thanks a lot Rewa I wud always remember this thing.infact if u have some suggestions please pass it on.
few moments back I went to a chai thadi , there I saw a guy,very short in height,he was looking very tired . After finishing his tea he prepared his bed on his rickshaw and adjusted himself on it. I dont know how he manages sleeping on it. But seeing him i was thinking that there are lots of things which has to be done in our society and i am doing nothing for this instead I am spending money on suttas thinking as to how to generate more money for myself ,although i cannot make a major change but atleast I can try.May be join some NGO. I donno may be I wud forgot this when i wud wake up in morning ,I donno......
Rest of things again wud take me to my frustu mode so I wont discuss.Chalo dekhte hai kal se meri hostel life in a single alone room kaise rehti hai.Let's hope for the best kyonki "kisi ne kahan hai jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai"
Infact I am wondering whether to mention this thing or not but since this blog is actually me so I won't discuss only those things which project me in a good way so I would discuss this thing.Actually when I was at home last month and watching roadies , I saw a girl natasha and the moment I saw her I felt what you would say "infatuation".Previous to that day I received a test from a company which was to be submitted ASAP within 2-3 hours.i solved it but didn't post it as I didn't have the net connectivity.Now after the roadies I got restless and within 10 minutes and in scorching heat of rajasthan I was in a cyber cafe searching info about her , where she is from , her background.Although I did not find much but I was feeling quite ashamed inside me that how can i be so idiot as what I was doing.but it did end there i came back to noida did searching again and after taht I posted the solutions .Till now I have seen hundreds of fake orkut accounts ,facebook accounts not only of her infact of other roadies as well in order to get a clue of her real account.I know it sounds sheer madness,but kya kare!So , while I was doing this stuff Rewa came and asked "kya kar raha hai raat ke teen baje and I said yaar dimaag kahrab ho gaya hai mera ".He listened and laughed and said "saale itna enthu kahin aur dikha to kahan se kahan pahuch jaega",I think he was right.And meanwhile Mr.rewa gave me a lesson which i wont forgot , he said "mutreja tere tu chutiya hai,tere pass itne chances hote hain tu fir bhi koi ladki nahi patata,i said kaun se chances , he said tere roll no ke pass "g" letter se kitni ladkiyan hoti hai garima,geetika etc etc......aur mere "h" ke aage peeche ladke hi hote hain ".Ans seriosuly there were very few girls staring wid H.So we decided we would name our sons from S so he wud have bright chances,and we came to conclusion "shashank" so he wud be sitting in between, shruti, sheta,shilpi,shipla and lots of those.thanks a lot Rewa I wud always remember this thing.infact if u have some suggestions please pass it on.
few moments back I went to a chai thadi , there I saw a guy,very short in height,he was looking very tired . After finishing his tea he prepared his bed on his rickshaw and adjusted himself on it. I dont know how he manages sleeping on it. But seeing him i was thinking that there are lots of things which has to be done in our society and i am doing nothing for this instead I am spending money on suttas thinking as to how to generate more money for myself ,although i cannot make a major change but atleast I can try.May be join some NGO. I donno may be I wud forgot this when i wud wake up in morning ,I donno......
Rest of things again wud take me to my frustu mode so I wont discuss.Chalo dekhte hai kal se meri hostel life in a single alone room kaise rehti hai.Let's hope for the best kyonki "kisi ne kahan hai jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai"
Monday, April 6, 2009
knock knock!!
knock knock!
who's there?
it's me?your heart
ohh i expected you to be here,it's walk time
ya.....
So,how'z the day?
naa preety boring as usual
so u again frustrated as usual
ya exactly
So why dont you do something that makes you happy?
I dont know what should I do?
Seriously think about it once again I saw that novel in your room, that guitar besides your bed,tons of unseen movies,hundreds of unread interesting bookmarks and so on...........
ya ya I agree there are things but I don't get time
acha think ab...........
ok I agree.................
dude , do something rather than pondering over things and do things that you like.....
ummmmmmm.......
acha ye bata kya karna chahta hai?bata soch jara....dhyan se......
umm do mahine himalaya pe jaana chahta hoon?
kyon?
tahk gaya hoon boring life se?
hmm.....
kya hau?
nahi I was thinking why ur dad is still working?
matlab,I didn't get you.
matlab , bhen ke takke, saale teri umar hai aaram ki, tu thak gaya hai aur tere parents kyon aaj bhi kaaam kerte hain , so that the family is happy and that is true happiness.....
haan per yaar i dont like going to office everyday?
acha 5 out of 7 seven you dont like?
umm yes......
dude u using too much of these undecsive umms....
waise u got bored in college also as far as I know,then u joined the company u were very happy , then what happened?
yes yes I was very happy, I used to drink,eat and sleep in the office?then gradually everything faded..
why?
I got bored and I wanted something more from job......
good you were very ambitious and then you would have started trying for something bigger...
no I did not get into other things but I stopped working passionately so as to save my time....
lol........lol...........Have you started yet?
no :(
At least few things I heard you did good?
what?
you cleared a SCJP exam(although u went through dumps, but you deserverd it) and you controlled your smoking......kudos t............
wait a minute actually I have stared smoking again......
shame on you?may I know the reason behind this (although you know I love smoking ten times more than you because it soothes me(your heart) but for ur betterment I fake to hate it )..
I m sorry....
Don't be sorry , stop it again,because you know deep inside your heart(I mean me)it's never its too late for anything......
I will try.......
samajh gaya main , saale wo bahar jo last wala hai use mat maar to manno tujhe........
please aaj last.......
koi samjhao is bawle ko........
chal thik hai yaad aa gaya wo to kauwe ke saath maar liya tha
now listen do not post this otherwise people will think you are a sycho...
but You always told me do whatever you like if it's not hurting anybody...
kk......then go ahead but you are responsible for all the harms.......
I know.....
kk then dude enough of talks , hopefully tommorow I will get up I will take a heavy toll of you in the nearby park.....
You know I love that you care for my friend (your big belly, we have a connection whenever she is happy I also feel good)
chalo ab so jaao ..........gn..........
who's there?
it's me?your heart
ohh i expected you to be here,it's walk time
ya.....
So,how'z the day?
naa preety boring as usual
so u again frustrated as usual
ya exactly
So why dont you do something that makes you happy?
I dont know what should I do?
Seriously think about it once again I saw that novel in your room, that guitar besides your bed,tons of unseen movies,hundreds of unread interesting bookmarks and so on...........
ya ya I agree there are things but I don't get time
acha think ab...........
ok I agree.................
dude , do something rather than pondering over things and do things that you like.....
ummmmmmm.......
acha ye bata kya karna chahta hai?bata soch jara....dhyan se......
umm do mahine himalaya pe jaana chahta hoon?
kyon?
tahk gaya hoon boring life se?
hmm.....
kya hau?
nahi I was thinking why ur dad is still working?
matlab,I didn't get you.
matlab , bhen ke takke, saale teri umar hai aaram ki, tu thak gaya hai aur tere parents kyon aaj bhi kaaam kerte hain , so that the family is happy and that is true happiness.....
haan per yaar i dont like going to office everyday?
acha 5 out of 7 seven you dont like?
umm yes......
dude u using too much of these undecsive umms....
waise u got bored in college also as far as I know,then u joined the company u were very happy , then what happened?
yes yes I was very happy, I used to drink,eat and sleep in the office?then gradually everything faded..
why?
I got bored and I wanted something more from job......
good you were very ambitious and then you would have started trying for something bigger...
no I did not get into other things but I stopped working passionately so as to save my time....
lol........lol...........Have you started yet?
no :(
At least few things I heard you did good?
what?
you cleared a SCJP exam(although u went through dumps, but you deserverd it) and you controlled your smoking......kudos t............
wait a minute actually I have stared smoking again......
shame on you?may I know the reason behind this (although you know I love smoking ten times more than you because it soothes me(your heart) but for ur betterment I fake to hate it )..
I m sorry....
Don't be sorry , stop it again,because you know deep inside your heart(I mean me)it's never its too late for anything......
I will try.......
samajh gaya main , saale wo bahar jo last wala hai use mat maar to manno tujhe........
please aaj last.......
koi samjhao is bawle ko........
chal thik hai yaad aa gaya wo to kauwe ke saath maar liya tha
now listen do not post this otherwise people will think you are a sycho...
but You always told me do whatever you like if it's not hurting anybody...
kk......then go ahead but you are responsible for all the harms.......
I know.....
kk then dude enough of talks , hopefully tommorow I will get up I will take a heavy toll of you in the nearby park.....
You know I love that you care for my friend (your big belly, we have a connection whenever she is happy I also feel good)
chalo ab so jaao ..........gn..........
Thursday, March 5, 2009
my mind is somewhere else........
If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.Ahh! what a relief!Reading these lines as my today fortune gave me an immense pleasure because right now I am hurted,scared and embarrassed in my professional life.By the way I am still not able to figure out the chances which I took.In short lagi padi hai.And one thing I have noticed that when u are in trouble the garden on your face(beard) betrayes you first.It starts growing at the rate of n to the power of trouble.So you look more fucked up than actually you are.Seeing yourself in mirror makes you feel more pity for urself.For the last 3 days I am not getting 15 mins to shave my face(ofcourse).Aftershave lotion which is the longest lasting thing in this world is staring at me, but looks like it will complete its 2 years.Ohh this month is like a end sem time as in my hairs are pointing towards the almighty, I am laughing but don't why(my mind is somewhere else), everybody else is laughing but I am not(I missed the context bcos my mind is some....),dont exactly remember what I had in my last meal(as I did not even looked at what I was eating as my mind is .....),10 am turned into 10pm and did not even noticed as my mind is somewhere else searching for the solution which can save my ass.
Chalo let me get to sleep so that I can cut down the grass of my face before they turn into forest
in morning.And I hope and pray that end sem ends tomorrow but I am bit scared bcos I have heard somewhere that "tomorrow never dies".
Chalo let me get to sleep so that I can cut down the grass of my face before they turn into forest
in morning.And I hope and pray that end sem ends tomorrow but I am bit scared bcos I have heard somewhere that "tomorrow never dies".
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Ye recession hai mere bhai.............
The theory boy (who has a theory for everything) is really busy and frustrated these days.The reason being he has to work like an ass with no hikes, no appreciation , no motivation.And he knows
things are going to get worse but he can't help it.By the way you must have guessed who is the theory guy(it's me).One of my friend Anirudh rightly said about me that I have opinion and explanation for everything on this earth.So,two months back I came out with a theory when one of colleague was badly screwed due to overload of work and criticism from managers about few things.So I came out with a theory and proposed to few people,I said "Listen , you know in every s/w engg's life a time comes from when he gets badly fucked up, whatever he does goes against him,before he completes one task he sees three tasks piled up again and this is a vicious circle, he would feel like running awy from these rigmarole but he can't ,only thing he would do is to listen and work and work......and it would feel like a non ending period, but one day he would suddenly realise that things have got better and few days later he would be relaxed and watching soembody else going through that phase".I said it very easily but when I am myself going through that period, it feels quite annoying.
You feel like using "no" and "why" thousand times a day, but you can only say ok because you can't say no to things and that too in recession period.
And the poor mutreja went to delhi-6,still that kala bandar word is roaming somewhere inside my mind.Infact I think the movie was made for some kala bandars.
Oh even looking at my blog makes me more frustrated , So I am stopping here , may be soon I will come back with my usual chatpati general life humourous stories..........
things are going to get worse but he can't help it.By the way you must have guessed who is the theory guy(it's me).One of my friend Anirudh rightly said about me that I have opinion and explanation for everything on this earth.So,two months back I came out with a theory when one of colleague was badly screwed due to overload of work and criticism from managers about few things.So I came out with a theory and proposed to few people,I said "Listen , you know in every s/w engg's life a time comes from when he gets badly fucked up, whatever he does goes against him,before he completes one task he sees three tasks piled up again and this is a vicious circle, he would feel like running awy from these rigmarole but he can't ,only thing he would do is to listen and work and work......and it would feel like a non ending period, but one day he would suddenly realise that things have got better and few days later he would be relaxed and watching soembody else going through that phase".I said it very easily but when I am myself going through that period, it feels quite annoying.
You feel like using "no" and "why" thousand times a day, but you can only say ok because you can't say no to things and that too in recession period.
And the poor mutreja went to delhi-6,still that kala bandar word is roaming somewhere inside my mind.Infact I think the movie was made for some kala bandars.
Oh even looking at my blog makes me more frustrated , So I am stopping here , may be soon I will come back with my usual chatpati general life humourous stories..........
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