knock knock!!

knock knock!
who's there?
it's me?your heart
ohh i expected you to be here,it's walk time
ya.....

So,how'z the day?
naa preety boring as usual
so u again frustrated as usual
ya exactly
So why dont you do something that makes you happy?
I dont know what should I do?
Seriously think about it once again I saw that novel in your room, that guitar besides your bed,tons of unseen movies,hundreds of unread interesting bookmarks and so on...........
ya ya I agree there are things but I don't get time
acha think ab...........
ok I agree.................
dude , do something rather than pondering over things and do things that you like.....
ummmmmmm.......

acha ye bata kya karna chahta hai?bata soch jara....dhyan se......
umm do mahine himalaya pe jaana chahta hoon?
kyon?
tahk gaya hoon boring life se?
hmm.....
kya hau?
nahi I was thinking why ur dad is still working?
matlab,I didn't get you.
matlab , bhen ke takke, saale teri umar hai aaram ki, tu thak gaya hai aur tere parents kyon aaj bhi kaaam kerte hain , so that the family is happy and that is true happiness.....
haan per yaar i dont like going to office everyday?
acha 5 out of 7 seven you dont like?
umm yes......
dude u using too much of these undecsive umms....
waise u got bored in college also as far as I know,then u joined the company u were very happy , then what happened?
yes yes I was very happy, I used to drink,eat and sleep in the office?then gradually everything faded..
why?
I got bored and I wanted something more from job......
good you were very ambitious and then you would have started trying for something bigger...
no I did not get into other things but I stopped working passionately so as to save my time....
lol........lol...........Have you started yet?
no :(

At least few things I heard you did good?
what?
you cleared a SCJP exam(although u went through dumps, but you deserverd it) and you controlled your smoking......kudos t............
wait a minute actually I have stared smoking again......
shame on you?may I know the reason behind this (although you know I love smoking ten times more than you because it soothes me(your heart) but for ur betterment I fake to hate it )..
I m sorry....
Don't be sorry , stop it again,because you know deep inside your heart(I mean me)it's never its too late for anything......
I will try.......
samajh gaya main , saale wo bahar jo last wala hai use mat maar to manno tujhe........
please aaj last.......
koi samjhao is bawle ko........
chal thik hai yaad aa gaya wo to kauwe ke saath maar liya tha
now listen do not post this otherwise people will think you are a sycho...
but You always told me do whatever you like if it's not hurting anybody...
kk......then go ahead but you are responsible for all the harms.......
I know.....

kk then dude enough of talks , hopefully tommorow I will get up I will take a heavy toll of you in the nearby park.....
You know I love that you care for my friend (your big belly, we have a connection whenever she is happy I also feel good)
chalo ab so jaao ..........gn..........

my mind is somewhere else........

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.Ahh! what a relief!Reading these lines as my today fortune gave me an immense pleasure because right now I am hurted,scared and embarrassed in my professional life.By the way I am still not able to figure out the chances which I took.In short lagi padi hai.And one thing I have noticed that when u are in trouble the garden on your face(beard) betrayes you first.It starts growing at the rate of n to the power of trouble.So you look more fucked up than actually you are.Seeing yourself in mirror makes you feel more pity for urself.For the last 3 days I am not getting 15 mins to shave my face(ofcourse).Aftershave lotion which is the longest lasting thing in this world is staring at me, but looks like it will complete its 2 years.Ohh this month is like a end sem time as in my hairs are pointing towards the almighty, I am laughing but don't why(my mind is somewhere else), everybody else is laughing but I am not(I missed the context bcos my mind is some....),dont exactly remember what I had in my last meal(as I did not even looked at what I was eating as my mind is .....),10 am turned into 10pm and did not even noticed as my mind is somewhere else searching for the solution which can save my ass.

Chalo let me get to sleep so that I can cut down the grass of my face before they turn into forest
in morning.And I hope and pray that end sem ends tomorrow but I am bit scared bcos I have heard somewhere that "tomorrow never dies".

Ye recession hai mere bhai.............

The theory boy (who has a theory for everything) is really busy and frustrated these days.The reason being he has to work like an ass with no hikes, no appreciation , no motivation.And he knows
things are going to get worse but he can't help it.By the way you must have guessed who is the theory guy(it's me).One of my friend Anirudh rightly said about me that I have opinion and explanation for everything on this earth.So,two months back I came out with a theory when one of colleague was badly screwed due to overload of work and criticism from managers about few things.So I came out with a theory and proposed to few people,I said "Listen , you know in every s/w engg's life a time comes from when he gets badly fucked up, whatever he does goes against him,before he completes one task he sees three tasks piled up again and this is a vicious circle, he would feel like running awy from these rigmarole but he can't ,only thing he would do is to listen and work and work......and it would feel like a non ending period, but one day he would suddenly realise that things have got better and few days later he would be relaxed and watching soembody else going through that phase".I said it very easily but when I am myself going through that period, it feels quite annoying.
You feel like using "no" and "why" thousand times a day, but you can only say ok because you can't say no to things and that too in recession period.

And the poor mutreja went to delhi-6,still that kala bandar word is roaming somewhere inside my mind.Infact I think the movie was made for some kala bandars.

Oh even looking at my blog makes me more frustrated , So I am stopping here , may be soon I will come back with my usual chatpati general life humourous stories..........

Aur kya haal chaal.............

This "Aur kya haal chaal" phrase is one which is being used by me and a lot of people at least thousand times a day(and I have noticed in all my blogs that I always some imaginary least count for everything which I do ,sometimes its 100,sometimes 1000.).The general conversation starts with this sentence and in between I use its siblings "Aur Suna" when I feel like there is nothing more to talk but we should continue talk.Today morning when I called my, dad he also started with "Aur kya haal chaal" and I got frustrated that is there any other way to start a talk.And lately this "sahi hai"has also been quite visible.whenever I dont feel that I should reply something I just say "sahi hai" which means I am not thinking over what the other person is saying I am just listening otherwise I always pop-up some queries.And its not only me who does this things its a general trend which I am trying to observe.This "Aur Suna" is particularly a very expensive one because at this point the talk is over so now the talk can be diverted to any direction may be it can go for half an hour or it will die in 30 seconds followed by another "Aur Suna". I am not against this but I wish there could have been something better as a substitute for this.And the famous reply of "Aur kya haal chaal" ,"bas kat rahi hai" what the hell , what is this answer...........rubbish......

Tiil I find a decent subsitute to all this things you people tell "Aur kya haal chaal..........."

Purani jeans

I wish I could make a film on my life , God it will be a complete masala movie but it won't be a hit.Reason??anybody?anybody?Yes everybody knows In India a movie without an actress does not click and there is no actress in my film.Although one sided part there was there but it is too short it would come and go before people would realise it.So leaving all this crap let me come to the point or my usual my childhood stories.Imagine a scene.........................

takauk.... takauk......takauk(sound of shoes).....somebody enters the classroom in a fully formal dress black shoes, gaberdin(a famous fabric of late 90's, a trouser with jeans roughness),blue full sleeves shirt,white socks.All the students were about to stand up for good afternoon ceremony just when that guy(weighing more than 100 kgs) finds a seat and adjusted himself .He could feel the students having that irritating glance at each other.He knew that they wanted to smile but could not in front of him.Yes my friends that guy was me with a 44 waist pant on me.Infact the teacher himself was bit surprised when he looked at me,but I managed to handle them as I creator a terror in my class to not to mess with me otherwise I would rape them coursewise and knowledge wise.God that drop year was hell!even now when I see a guy preparing for JEE I feel terrible.I could not wear jeans for two years just because there were no jeans of my size.I did not know about any brands then and those local jeans were not more than 36.Wearing a jeans became a greater dream for me rather than JEE.I lost all the hopes."Main aur meri purani tight jeans aksar ye bataten kerte , wo kehti tum 32 hote to kitne dude lagte,main kehta tun 40 hoti to main uncle to na lagta".But seriously 2002-2003 was my uncle year.

Then when I joined the college, I found that literaly everybody was in jeans afterall it was delhi and 90% DGs in DCE.So, I went for a tailored jeans but it was horrible.Three months passed and one day one of my friend Rana who was also like me(now he is fit and I am still not:( ) told me that he has 38 waist jeans and when i tried it i almost felt like I dont want anything else in my life,I have got what I wanted,i was wearing a jeans , damn it a jeans............

then lost weight and I have tried jeans of all brands(34,36,38) and recently I bought a levis jeans which somehow fitted me this time.So my friends ,many of you feel that I dont take my weight seriously and the reason is I have gone through such times that today when I see myself I still feel good as compared to I was at one time.Does not mean that i am not serious but I am not upset.So stop motivating me because I know I have done it once and I can do it again............................

Who the hell cares?

kk..so let me get started right here, no more wastage of words for setting things up for next para because a lot of things to be written in very less time.So,I was wondering the kind of blog I write is quite unusual wherein I don't write about economy, country , politics , slumdomg criticism/praise,I just write about myself because I think I have not completely understood myself as of now , so I keep writing things about which infact has helped me because when I write I have realised few things and I have incorporated some changes into myself.And moreover I don't think I give enough time and thoughts to follow politics etc so that I can write.

So, while I was reading my blogs I realised that somehow I never regret my past I always feel good about.I always cherish those memories but at the same time I remember I never used to happy on those times.So I would try to be happy in the present.One more theory there are two kind of happiness one is momentarily happiness and second one is something like planned happiness,
Sounds wired?let me explain
when I go for a smoke or my 5th cup of tea in the day,that sutta and chai gives me momentarily happiness and same scene at evening night.And if I dont smoke for a week, cut down on my chai's for a week , it gives me planned happiness bcos I did what I though and the planned happiness is thousand times greater than sum of momentarily happiness.And I am addicted to these short term happiness things I want every thing in my life to give me joy which is quite difficult.I paln things for planned happiness but cant avoid momentarily happiness which are very conflicting, and may be therefore my oscillates in on/off state with a very short time period.
I am working on this and I have controlled my tea intake a bit(3 per day) bcos I firmly believe in
"Sow a thought and you reap an action; Sow an act and you reap a habit; Sow a habit and you reap a character; Sow a character and you reap a destiny." these sentences

And frankly tell you one thing I was going to write something else and I dont know what I have written.I would write it in next blog and I wont get momentarily frustrated.

Aur waise bhi "Who the hell cares?" what I write........................

The average boy theory

The boy was very confused and frustrated about the things happening in his life.He could not understand why everything were demanding lots of effort while sometimes back he used to achieve things effortlessly.Suddenly somebody came and asked him about his well being?Then Bhatia(the person,believe me he has reason and information about everything on this earth) told the boy one of his theory,he said there are 3 kinds of people in this world:

first one are those who are awesomely talented , who can achieve whatever they want with minimum of efforts,this is the best category and they enjoy their life to fullest.

second one are those who have no talent at all and they know it and they do not fight for things as they know they can't , they are hopeless and even they enjoy their life

and the third one which is the worst category is the average category, these are those people who know they are not hopeless , they have potential but they wont get things easily , they have to fight for everything , they wont get things without putting ample efforts and these people spend major part of things fighting for things because they know they can and they dont enjoy enjoy life as much.

Now the boy came to realise that for some unknown reasons his life has shifted to third category from first, he used to be among first category but with same amount of efforts as theirs he was not able to deliver.So, he started to collect evidences abut his being into the average category,some of evidences he found are
1.the boy was able to enter a top 10 engg. college but with hell lot of effort and after that he never did anything great , and at the end joined an average company

2.in studies he was always average in class

3. in sports he was average (average batsman , average bowler,average vollyball player, tt player) it was not that he was bad but he was not brilliant in any
"
4.In music its not that he can't play guitar , he cant play any song ,he plays "papa kehte hai" very well" but he cannot proceed ahead , he knows he can but again huge effort required

5.looks wise the boy is average neither salman nor tushar kapoor

and many more.......................................

the boy finally realised that he was an average guy and he has to accept that he wont get things effortlessly

So, average boy is fine with his life and ready to put efforts its just he is stilll seraching for the goal.